Realign yourself and reclaim your power with today's full moon

Today’s lunar eclipse full moon in Capricorn is said to present us with an opportunity to change what is old and no longer serving us into a new and more open-hearted future. This particular full moon is associated with opening our hearts, while simultaneously strengthening our boundaries - allowing us to give generously without draining or sacrificing ourselves in the process.

Here are a few of my favourite tapping sequences to gently assist this process. Enjoy! :)


Heart opening:

Feeling Stuck? Get Going Again With This EFT Tapping Sequence!

If you’re feeling like you’re somehow stuck or held back in life, you’re not alone! It’s not easy to feel like there’s something standing in your path, tying you down, or in some way keeping you stagnant.

Sometimes, that “stuck” feeling can come from our own resistances to taking positive action (also known as psychoenergetic reversals, reversals, or PERs… more about these and how to release them here). Essentially, I see these resistances as being kind of similar to our “worst-case scenario” friend or family member… well-meaning, but oftentimes alarmist. Resistances tell us that we’re not safe if we do certain things, or that we’ll lose out, or cross some arbitrary line, or that something bad will occur if we take positive, useful actions. Generally, resistances develop to keep us safe in some way, so they’re quite natural to have. I have a number of articles and videos that can help with clearing reversals if you suspect that is the cause of your “stuck-ness.”

In the absence of resistances, a “stuck” feeling can also result from poor timing or inadequate feelings of preparedness. I’ll use a few simple examples to illustrate this.

Let’s say someone named Kelly is looking for a new job. She has her resume looking really polished, includes great references, and creates customized cover letters that position her as the ideal candidate for every job she applies for. She never gets beyond a first interview though, and starts feeling stuck, since she is really ready to change jobs.

Turns out, a few months later, Kelly ends up with an offer for the exact right position for her, that is way more aligned with what she wants to do, and that fits into her life much better than any of the other jobs she’d applied for! She just had to wait for the right timing so that her dream job could become available.

Alternatively, maybe someone named Margo is looking to buy a house. She diligently combs through listings and views potential homes every weekend, but none of them really match what she’s looking for. A part of her is very nervous about owning a home and all the responsibilities that go along with it. She starts reading books and forums and looking for advice about homeownership, and eventually realizes that she’ll be ok as long as she buys a place that doesn’t have a yard or need a lot of repairs, so she ends up buying a great condo that was recently upgraded.

In these examples, Kelly and Margo thought they were getting really stuck, but were actually finding just the right things for them at the right times. But feeling stuck due to timing or readiness still isn’t very fun! I’ve created a little video that you can tap along with if you’re feeling stuck, to help let go of the many emotions that go along with that sensation. Enjoy! :)

Finding Balance In Relationships With The Full Moon In Libra

One of the key themes of the full moon in Libra on April 19th is finding balance in relationships… whether it’s in relationships with romantic partners, family members, co-workers, or even activities or objects.

With respect to relationships with others, some of the aspects that may require balancing are independence, patterns of giving and receiving, and ways of dealing with tensions. We can take advantage this cycle to develop healthier boundaries pertaining to alone time, autonomy, over-giving, and communication. I’ve created a couple of tapping sequences designed to help find a healthy amount of independence and limit over-giving in relationships… just tap along with the videos at the bottom of this post! You may also like some of my posts about authentic communication to help handle some of the increased relationship tensions of this full moon in a productive manner.

It’s said that there can also be imbalances in our relationship to the self surfacing, creating potential for indulging in destructive behaviours to help soothe a lack of self-worth. If you’re noticing those uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy coming up, you may enjoy tapping along with this video that deals with the topic.

Happy full moon! :)

What's Stopping Your Progress? ...How to Identify Resistances or "Psychoenergetic Reversals" with EFT Tapping

If you've been working away at a particular issue with EFT tapping and haven't been making progress, it may be that you are affected by a psychoenergetic reversal (also known as a PER, reversal, or sometimes simply as "resistance" - you can read more about them here).  PERs are essentially reasons why the non-conscious mind wants to hang onto an issue... and there can actually be quite a few of them!

In my blog post about PERs, I discussed 5 main categories of PERs identified by energy psychologist Fred Gallo and shared a video of a sequence I use to address these before tapping. Sometimes, though, we need to get a little more specific in addressing our reversals. Here I’ll share my top tips for discovering PERs that can keep us bound to our issues.

My basic procedure for identifying PERs is simple:

  1. Ask a few questions of yourself to find your PERs.

  2. Use the answers to guide some tapping specific to the PERs.

  3. After clearing PERs, use EFT tapping for the issue.

First things first: get started with a few questions to help see what PERs might be there for you. You can also tap along with this video and see if any others spontaneously surface.

  • What is the best thing about having this issue, or the "upside of the downside"?  Would you lose out on anything if you didn't have it anymore? Sometimes, what seems to be a real problem in our lives can actually be a way that our bodies have adapted to solve another, “primary” problem. For example, maybe I have a series of events I don’t feel like attending, and then end up with a migraine that prevents me from going after all. Some other questions you might ask yourself are, “Are there any side effects of this issue that I really enjoy?” and “Does this issue get me out of anything I hate doing?”

  • How much work do you think it would take to resolve this issue? The truth is, even us motivated people are kind of lazy sometimes! Some issues seem to be so overwhelming to resolve that this can actually sabotage our attempts to make progress on them. As an example of this, let’s say that I’m interested in getting in shape, but I believe that fitness is nothing but hard work and that this is the only way to reach my goal. I may end up having trouble with this issue because of my limiting belief that getting fit has to be hard work rather than an enjoyable process.

  • Does this issue protect you from anything... criticism, being hurt, etc.? Is it in any way related to your survival needs? All of us make use of some handy neurological programming that recognizes certain stimuli as threatening in order to keep us safe. Some of these stimuli are generally dangerous (and so it’s very useful to hold on to our threat recognition), while some are not (and in this case, our threat recognition can hold us back). An example of this would be if I did really well on a test in school, and my classmates made fun of me and hurt my feelings. Now I might associate succeeding with being made fun of, and avoid it… whether I’m consciously aware of it or not.

  • Imagine what would happen if this issue was resolved.  Get into the details... who is there in your life, what are you doing, what do other people say about it...? This is really just another technique to explore the above questions. Vividly imagining your life without an issue can give you some more clues about what you expect to happen without it and how the issue might be serving you in some way. For example, it may be that resolving an issue means that you have to change something in your life that seems really difficult, or lose touch with someone close to you. Occasionally, it can also seem impossible to imagine what life would even look like without the issue… we sometimes start to identify with an issue to the extent that we don’t know who we are without it.

Next, do some tapping for the PERs you discovered. You can always try a very general and broad sequence like the one in this video, but you also might need to get a little more specific. Continuing with our examples from above, some of the specific tapping might include:

  • Needing something, or not wanting to do something. If the primary issue is not wanting to attend something, then tapping around that and needing boundaries might be appropriate. Or, if there is a nice side effect (such as attention from loved ones) that comes with the issue, tapping could be used to address that unmet need and being ok with asking to have needs met.

  • Limiting beliefs around the work required to resolve an issue. When we believe that something is a ton of hard work, it sometimes sounds less appealing. However, “hard work” is very relative, and we sometimes forget that it could be optional. Tapping can be used on limiting beliefs, as well as on specific events that reinforce these beliefs (such as past attempts to resolve an issue).

  • Specific traumatic events that require self-protection. If we’re holding on to an issue as part of a survival or protective mechanism, then it’s often useful to use the Tell The Story technique on any specific events that led us to require that mechanism. Building on the example above, I would tap on the time I did well on the test and got made fun of. If success stops being associated with being made fun of, then I no longer need the protective mechanism.

  • Identification of oneself with the issue, or an inability to see the possibility of resolving the issue. This can involve everything from tapping about changing habits and grief and stresses about change to tapping on the simple concepts of “I don’t know who I am without this issue” or “I can’t imagine life without this issue.”

After clearing the PERs, you’re all set to work on your issues with the same great results tapping usually brings! Good luck! :)

P.S. As a bonus, I also have this video that you can tap along with to help overcome fear of success. Just tap along to try it out! :)

Jumpstart Your Success With EFT Tapping

If you’ve been struggling to have success in some area of your life, you’re not alone! While we often think of fear of failure as a major block to success, we may also experience fear of success from time to time.

Sometimes we associate success with negative consequences to our lives, or are simply afraid of the "unknowns" surrounding success. In this video, I guide us through an EFT tapping sequence to help let go of the fear of success - just tap along with the video to try it out! Enjoy, and best of luck! :)

P.S. I’ve also got a great video to help let go of the pain of past “failures” here that you might like, and you can find more of my tapping videos to help with success here!

Feeling Unheard? Get Your Voice Back With EFT Tapping!

Feeling like others don't hear or understand you is no fun! This EFT tapping sequence helps to release feelings associated with feeling unheard...just tap along with the video! Enjoy! :)

Let Go Of Loneliness With EFT Tapping

Loneliness is an emotion most of us experience from time to time… and it can be a really uncomfortable one! Sometimes we feel lonely when we’re alone, and sometimes we feel lonely when we’re surrounded by people as well.

These lonely feelings, just like other feelings, sometimes have some information or guidance for us. And, as much as they can seem never-ending (trust me, I know!), they too can come and go. You can tap along with this video to help let go of loneliness and tune into anything it’s trying to tell you or motivate you to do. Enjoy! :)

Shed Your Fears To Follow Your Passions

If you're like many people, you might be able to imagine some of the things you'd like to have in your future. You might already have some passions that you'd like to follow, and steps you want to take to really create that future for yourself.

One of the huge barriers to actually creating that future for ourselves is fear. It could be fear of taking the steps we need to, or even fear of what might happen if we really do create that future for ourselves. I've created this tapping sequence to help release some of those fears.

Fears are natural, and we don't have to let them dictate what we can and can't do in life. They exist for a reason, and ultimately we get to choose what we do with them. Enjoy, and all the best!

P.S. You might also like to check out this post for a little more assistance in following your passions! :)

EFT Tapping To Heal A Broken Heart

It's Valentine's Day… a day almost certain to crush your spirits if you're suffering from a broken heart. I know first hand how hard it can be to process the experience of heartbreak! There are so many great tools available to help with this these days, and tapping is definitely one of them. I created this sequence that you can tap along with as a special Valentine's gift for all of us who have loved and lost. You might also find some of my videos that focus on grief helpful. Lots of love! :)

5 Quick Tips for Writing Really Juicy Affirmations that Work

You may have heard of affirmations as a powerful tool for creating change in your life.  Well, as it turns out, there are affirmations and then there are *affirmations*.  :)  The best affirmations create powerful feelings that are properly matched with what you expect to feel when the affirmation is true.  This is really great news, because with just a little reflection (and maybe a thesaurus, lol), you can craft yourself some mighty little statements to take your life to the next level!

I'll use an example that we'll tweak as we go through the steps, that is based on wanting to get a good job as a dental hygienist.  (No personal bias there… lol!)

  1. Write an affirmation that is present tense. If you're repeating an affirmation that is set in the future, it makes it harder to ever arrive at. It's sort of like saying, "I'll get around to it..." - we all know what that really means, lol! ;) In our example, we would use "I have a great job as a dental hygienist" as opposed to "I will have a great job as a dental hygienist."

  2. Be somewhat specific. You don't need to hammer out every detail, but do think of different aspects of what your affirmation is about. To use our example again: What makes the job great? Is it the co-workers, the compensation, the clientele, the actual work? We could adjust our statement to something like, "I am part of a great dental team as a well-paid dental hygienist serving clients who appreciate us."

  3. Use words that incite a lot of emotion. The whole point of the affirmation is to create an abundance of good feelings within you, and the words you choose can make a big difference here. Turning back to our example, we could consider: What does a "great dental team" feel like? How about "clients who appreciate us?" We might decide to make our affirmation, "I am in love with my job as a well-paid dental hygienist who's part of a caring, supportive, fun dental team serving kind and understanding clients who value our work, rave about us, and help us love our day!" (Starting to sound more exciting, eh?)

  4. Dig a little deeper into WHY you want that affirmation to be true. Sometimes you have an idea of some concrete thing that you want, but it might be that the thing is only a vehicle for something else. In our example, we would have to wonder: Why is this particular job something that is important? What about the "well-paid" aspect of it? It could be that this hypothetical job, when compared with others, provides a valuable sense of social connection, or accomplishment, or self-actualization. The pay might be important to ensure financial freedom, or it might be relevant to respect or status. We could re-work our affirmation yet again, to something like, "I am in love with my dream job as a successful dental hygienist who is part of a caring, supportive, fun dental team serving kind and understanding clients who value our work, rave about us, and help us love our day!" (In this example, I've used self-actualization - "dream job" - and status - "successful" - as our motivating factors.)

  5. Look for blocks or resistances to your affirmation. Sometimes, we have a little voice inside that tells us that we don't deserve what our affirmation would bring us, or that it's not possible, or... any number of stories. Some of these, we may get over naturally (in the example above, we may be a new graduate who needs experience before feeling like we could hope for our dream job), and some may be "tail-enders" that we can use EFT tapping to help let go of (an example relating to our proposed dental hygiene job might be that little voice telling us, "...but that kind of job doesn't exist."). You can check out a list of common resistances or psychoenergetic reversals here, and find information about tail-enders here.

Once you've honed your affirmation and addressed the roots of your desires as well as any resistances, you should be left with a statement that feels amazing to say! Write it down, say it out loud, tell your friends, and… enjoy! :)

Uncovering The Roots Of Burnout

If you work in a helping profession, chances are that you have heard of burnout. Maybe you have had colleagues who’ve suffered from burnout, or even experienced it yourself.

Burnout involves emotional exhaustion - a condition that affects a person both physically and emotionally, and results from continually experiencing excessive stress. Burnout has been linked to many negative consequences, too. On a personal level, it has been associated with other conditions including depression, suicidal ideation, decreased personal accomplishment, and substance abuse. But it affects a wider slice of humanity than just the individual suffering from burnout - interpersonal relationships, workplace morale and relationships, and the quality of a person’s work can also be affected, for example.

Not only that, but those of us in helping professions may also find ourselves suffering from burnout in other areas of our lives! We sometimes end up overgiving in everything from personal relationships to leisure activities - potentially increasing the sources of stress that contribute to burnout, instead of helping to prevent it.

Luckily, EFT tapping does a great job of letting go of some of the piled up emotions that can (eventually) result in burnout! In this tapping sequence, I’ve put in an added bonus - I’ve included wording that invites the root causes of burnout to identify themselves.

Oftentimes, something has caused us to believe that we have to overgive without being able to replenish ourselves satisfactorily. Fears (for example, of losing a job or being made fun of) can prevent us from setting healthy boundaries or refusing excessive commitments, as can anxieties about self-worth. Once we become aware of what is driving our behaviours that contribute to burnout, we can address these root issues and reap the rewards! Good luck and happy tapping! :)

Feeling Like People Let You Down?

It’s happened to all of us - we put our faith in someone to come through for us in some way or another, and then feel let down when they don’t meet our expectations. This can leave us with a whole heap of hurt feelings (especially if it becomes a pattern for us), and create potentially self-destructive behaviours in us as we try to avoid the same type of situation in the future.

Just like (almost) always, we can definitely tap on that! ;) I created this tapping sequence to help let go of the feelings that surround a situation in which someone lets us down. As a bonus, I’ve included a little tapping around some of the hidden reasons we might like to hold onto these hurt feelings! Happy tapping! :)

Feeling Unappreciated? Good News... You Can Tap On That, Too! :)

Tell me if this has ever happened to you… you generously offer something to a friend, colleague, or group, only to find yourself feeling unappreciated when they don’t even bother to thank you!

This can be a frustrating experience, particularly when it occurs repeatedly. Besides creating animosity between ourselves and others, it can result in us closing ourselves off from the wonderful potential that lies inside us. Luckily, tapping does a great job of letting go of hurt feelings that are associated with feeling taken for granted or under appreciated! Just tap along with this video to try it out. Enjoy! :)

When Positive Thinking Hurts: The Healing Power of Acknowledgement and Validation

Recently I watched this video, in which psychotherapist Megan Devine shares her findings and philosophy about helping a friend who is experiencing some kind of hurt or grief.

I recommend watching the video yourself, but if you don’t have time, here’s a quick synopsis:

  • Usually we try to cheer people up when they are experiencing some kind of pain.

  • This doesn’t actually take away our friend’s pain, and might make them feel misunderstood or patronized. (Potentially causing more pain.)

  • They may seem to cheer up, but this might actually just mean that they have stopped trying to share their authentic experience. (So they may be secretly experiencing this additional pain.)

  • Instead, Megan recommends acknowledgement of our friend’s feelings.

If you’ve ever had someone invalidate your pain, you may be able to relate to Megan’s message. It’s one I hold near and dear to my heart, as I’ve long ago lost count of the number of ways I’ve been told that I am not supposed to feel the pain I do.

When we’re supporting our friend, we also have the option of checking in with him as to what he’d like. “Would you like to just tell me about this, would you like advice, or is there something else I can do to help?” might be a good place to start.

Sometimes, when our friend needs to just vent, it can become emotionally draining on us to listen. Besides knowing our own limits, it can be useful to use EFT tapping to keep our own stress levels low while supporting those we care about. You can find my post on tapping while supporting friends here.

If you’ve had to deal with having your sadness invalidated, you may also enjoy the following video. I created this tapping sequence to help acknowledge the sadness we feel from time to time in this life, as well as hurt feelings we might experience from having had that sadness dismissed or rejected by others. Hope you enjoy it! :)

5 Easy Ways of Allowing Others to Offer You Help - Start Here and Tap Along!

Many of us get caught up in thinking that we have to do everything ourselves and carry a lot of burdens alone, instead of receiving the full benefits of the assistance that we have available to us.  There are a lot of reasons why we think we shouldn't let others in when they want to help, and these can be deeply ingrained into our patterns!

The good news is - if you've been looking for more opportunities to receive the help and support that is offered your way, you can start right this second!  Just read through these tips and tap along with this video to start removing the blocks you have around receiving support and assistance.  :)

  • Let go of blocks to receiving support.  Some of us have internalized messages that it's not ok or safe to receive help and support from others, for a whole variety of reasons.  You can tap along with this video to release these blocks to allowing others to help. 
  • Identify the areas of your life that could make the best use of help.  With the wide variety of tasks you may need to complete in the run of a day, it can be hard to decide what things are really important to do yourself, and which ones are candidates for outside support.  While this is certainly an individual decision, I'd recommend to put some thought into what each of your daily tasks involves in terms of costs - financial, time, and emotional.  Then look at the benefits - again from financial, time, and emotional standpoints.  You may find that some activities cost nothing or very little to have someone else do for you, and save a lot of your time and emotional energy!
  • Re-evaluate your reaction to outreach from others.  The next time someone offers you help, take note of your immediate or automatic response.  Many of us are in the habit of refusing help as a reflex!  We may think the other person doesn't really want to help, or not want to feel like a burden, or refuse it for any other number of reasons.  Luckily, once you notice that you have this kind of reaction, you can start to change this... and accept help that is offered. :)
  • Strengthen your task delegation skills and improve your trust in others.  Delegating tasks can be a great way to receive help... if you can delegate well!  There are many tricks you can eventually learn to become effective at delegating tasks, but my basic advice is to see which tasks could be repeatedly completed in an acceptable way by which person, and match them up (so as to maximize your future opportunities for help).  Trust is obviously an essential component to effective task delegation, so increasing your trust in others will make delegation easier.  I will have a post on trust coming up in the next few weeks, but in the meantime, you can snag the Thetahealing download below!   
  • Try Thetahealing downloads for accepting support and help, and trust.  Thetahealing downloads are really similar to software downloads for a computer, and basically function to upgrade your internal programming.  If you have faulty versions of accepting support and help, and trust programs, then maybe it's time to upgrade!  For example, some of us have been taught that accepting support and help feels like defeat, or that trust feels scary.  :(  No wonder we wouldn't want that!  All you have to do is say "YES" after reading this to receive the pure, direct downloads of the feelings of accepting support and help, and trust in the highest and best way with joy and ease.  It feels really, really good!  Enjoy! :)
Life is more fun when you let others give you a hand! :)

Life is more fun when you let others give you a hand! :)

5 Simple Steps to Finding Forgiveness

Have you ever had someone that you sort of wanted to forgive... but just couldn't really bring yourself to do so?  When I split up with my ex-husband, it was really painful, and during the process of divorce there were many opportunities to lash out and try to "get revenge."  I think that setting an intention of forgiveness really saved us from more pain and suffering by shifting to a focus of just accomplishing the task instead of trying to cut each other down.  Here are my top 5 tips to help find forgiveness:

  • Take a look at – and release – any obstacles to forgiveness you may have.  If the very notion of forgiving someone feels kind of bad to you, it’s a lot harder to be fully on board with doing it!  You can tap along with this video to help identify blocks to forgiveness.  And I’m curious... what other ones come up for you?
  • Let go of any hurt feelings you’ve been holding onto about what the other person did.  We can definitely form an intellectual understanding of forgiving the person, but does that change how we really feel inside?  If you notice that you are still harbouring painful feelings about things that have transpired, try doing a little work with EFT tapping to let these go.  You can focus on how your were hurt, angry, etc., as well as how your life has been affected by this.  I've also noticed that messages conveyed by what happened can be useful to tap on (for example, if you were interrupted by someone, you may have received the message that you are unimportant).
  • Try a Thetahealing download for forgiveness.  Thetahealing downloads are really similar to software downloads for a computer, and basically function to upgrade your internal programming.  If you have a faulty version of a forgiveness program, then maybe it's time to upgrade!  For example, some of us have been taught forgiveness in ways that make it feel like an obligation, or something that we have to do to be "good enough"... ick!  No wonder we wouldn't want to feel that!  All you have to do is say "YES" after reading this to receive the pure, direct download of the feeling of forgiveness in the highest and best way with joy and ease.  It feels really, really good!  Enjoy! :)
  • After you've let go of hurt feelings and obstacles, try ho'oponopono.  This is a traditional Hawaiian forgiveness practice that I've used with pretty great success.  However, I have also found that trying to do this practice before letting go of my own pain was not very effective... so I recommend to do it after you've processed your own hurt.  (Bonus tip: try doing it while tapping!  I loved this effect!)
  • You may also need to forgive yourself.  Yes, that really is what I just said!  If you find yourself beating yourself up over any of your actions (for example, "Why didn't I stand up for myself?  I should have done something different!"), you might play with forgiving yourself for whatever you did.  And don't forget to be gentle and patient with yourself and the process!  (Sometimes easier said than done... lol!)  I have a video here that can help with the process of self-forgiveness.

Hope these tips help you on your path to forgiveness!  Happy tapping! :)

What's a "Tail-Ender," and How Can This Harm My Affirmations?

A tail-ender may sound like a sinister way to amputate a pet, but (surprise!) it's not!  LOL

The term "tail-ender" actually refers to a phrase that could be added onto an affirmation as its "tail end."  This will make a little more sense when I give you an example or two, but first, let's take a closer look at affirmations (and I have a post here on how to write really, really GOOD affirmations if that interests you!).

Affirmations are designed to incite a feeling and belief within a person that, when repeated regularly, can bring about positive change in a person's life.  Notice I've used the words "feeling" and "belief" very purposefully.  How do we know if we truly believe something?  Of course, we can really believe something when it FEELS true to us.

So what happens when we write ourselves amazing affirmations, but they DON'T feel true to us?  Then we have ourselves a case of tail-ender self-sabotage, and our affirmations fall on deaf ears.  We may even end up with a "felt belief" that is actually the opposite of what our affirmation was stating.  Which brings me to my examples:

  • Affirmation #1: I have access to all the resources I need, at this very moment.

  • Tail-ender #1: ...Except that I'm broke!

  • Felt belief #1: I'm broke.

  • Affirmation #2: I am healthy, vibrant, and physically fit.

  • Tail-ender #2: ...But I feel pretty sluggish and I need to lose 50 pounds.

  • Felt belief #2: I'm out of shape and overweight.

I think of tail-enders as the internal truth that comes out when we tell ourselves the lie of an affirmation that we just can't quite get on board with.  These types of affirmations FEEL like a lie, and then repeating them over and over reinforces whatever feeling that they create in us - in the examples above, lack of resources or poor health.  And this is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what we are trying to do with our affirmations!

The good news is, there is a very, VERY easy fix.  If you feel a tail-ender come up as you repeat an affirmation, just do some tapping on that tail-ender to release the blocks associated with it.  It may take a little work with specific events, but you can definitely let go of tail-enders so that your affirmations can work unimpeded! :)

Opening the Heart with EFT Tapping

Hey there!  I've been visiting the beautiful Tara Mandala retreat center in Colorado this week, and a slogan I saw here ("Vast View - Open Heart") inspired this tapping sequence.  Blocks to sharing love with the self and others are numerous, but this sequence can shake them up a little and help identify specific events to use with the Tell the Story technique.  Enjoy, and much love always! :)

5 Ways to Break Taboos of Self-Expression

Our culture is filled with rules (explicit or unspoken) that restrict self-expression.  We've been conditioned since birth to know what, when, where, why, how, and to whom we can or can't communicate or express ourselves.

Part of showing up authentically in the world involves taking some time to reassess (and maybe even break) the taboos of self-expression that dictate how we let others perceive us.  Are these taboos still serving us... or holding us back?  Here is a list of some simple ways you can tune into them and bring more awareness to your self-expression.

  • Compare how you see yourself to how you think others see you, and challenge who can see you in what way.  If you sit and write down a list called "How I see myself" and a second one called "How others see me," you will probably find a few discrepancies (check out a sample of mine with some of these highlighted below).  Maybe you have talents or attributes you are hiding from others, or maybe you are cheating yourself out of people appreciating the real you by keeping up appearances on the outside instead of sharing your vulnerabilities.  You might even be hiding some of your positive qualities from yourself to try to follow social guidelines for modesty or humility!  It can be helpful to do different lists for different social circles you belong to.  Now assess whether you want to show more of your strengths and vulnerabilities to yourself or others.  Challenge who you allow to see you in what way! 
  • Figure out your own personal "gut" feelings for yes and no, and respect what actions are right for you.  Social conventions tend to encourage conformity and tribalism... agreeing with everything that your social group does and believes in.  We might fear rejection by our community if we go our own way.  Learn to check in with your body, mind, and spirit to find your own boundaries, comforts, and opinions.  Some simple ways to do this are muscle testing (see one way to do this in the video below) or simply imagining the scenario and tuning in to your body feelings about it.
  • Get rid of all your boxes, and expand into your whole self.  When you classify yourself as one thing or another, you subject yourself to unnecessary limits on what is acceptable for you to do.  This doesn't mean that you don't identify as things that you legitimately are... it simply means that you can identify as more than one thing.  (For example, if you want to, you can be a teacher AND a painter AND a fire dancer.  Or you can be introverted sometimes AND extroverted other times.  Why not?)
  • Allow yourself a full range of emotions.  Do you have any feelings that you won't let yourself experience?  For some of us, certain emotions can feel painful or be associated with rejection.  We might have been taught that we shouldn't feel jealous, angry, sad, or even happy.  Try making a list of the emotions you find most difficult to allow in your life.  Choose one of these and then notice over the next week whenever it comes up.  You can repeat this exercise every week until you've gone through your whole list.
  • Challenge your assumptions.  When we assume that people will react a certain way to our self-expression, it oftentimes becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Why?  Because we are already expecting that result, and this creates subtle changes in our energy and communication.  We show up in a way that reflects what result we expect.  So challenge your assumptions and try on new styles of communication!  Go for an authentic feeling of the new style - try imagining best case scenarios and see what happens.  ;)

Talking to a wall?

Ever feel frustrated with the way communication takes place in your relationships?  Like there's some kind of wall between you?

Here's a video, specially crafted for this Blue Moon on 03/31/18, that you can tap along with to help improve communication!  Today's full moon creates opportunities to reflect on and alter relationships and the way we communicate, so take advantage of the energetic boost! :)