If you've taken an EFT tapping workshop with me, you are probably aware that tapping on specific events is reported to be the key to getting amazing results with tapping. (Yay, you!)
But what happens when you have a hard time identifying specific events to tap on? Are you doomed to get sub-standard results forever? :(
Fear not... there are several ways around this problem, and I'm about to outline 3 great options that you can try! :D The following descriptions are geared towards identifying specific events of a pattern. I'll use "feeling lonely" as an example.
- Ask yourself, "When was this true? Do you have an example, a 'time when?'" (And remember to ask nicely... LOL!) Sometimes, just asking yourself for a "time when" will work. For example, I could say to myself, "What's a 'time when' I felt lonely?" Bonus hint: If you're very in touch with the somatic (body feeling) components of an emotion, you may even remember an earlier time that you had that same feeling in your body.
- Screw specific events! :P Well... only partly. Tap on the fact that you don't know any specific events to use - and any feelings that you have about having to come up with a specific event. Sometimes something will surface after doing this. Using my example, I could use the setup statement, "Even though I can't remember a specific time I felt lonely, and I'm frustrated about that, I love and accept myself." And just to make it easier, I've got a video you can tap along with as well!
- Fake it til you make it. If you really, truly can't remember a specific event, many practitioners recommend to just make one up! The idea is that the non-conscious mind can piece together the right elements to help itself out as if it were using a specific event. My recommendations if you use this technique are to follow the same kind of guidelines as when you use a "real" event - keep it short, and with a concrete beginning and ending point. Continuing with my example, I can create a story in which I feel lonely. I will end up with a narrative that encompasses many aspects as far as why I feel lonely, what kind of situation might have created the feeling, what beliefs are associated with the feeling, and even related emotions. Maybe my story would sound something like, "I was sitting alone at the lunch table at school, eating my lunch. I looked around and realized that everyone else was sitting and talking to one another, while I was just sitting alone. I felt excluded and like no one wanted to sit with me. I looked at these other kids and they didn't even notice I existed. I felt ashamed that no one noticed me or cared, like I was invisible. I finished eating my lunch and hid in the bathroom until it was time for class again." As you can see, this made up event contains a number of aspects that relate to the theme of "feeling lonely." This can be especially useful for events that happened too early to be remembered consciously.
Now that you've got a few different options in your toolbox, you can confidently tap away! Enjoy! :)